Sleep deprived

So once again it’s been a while since I updated this so as I can’t sleep I thought this was a good opportunity! My last blog was short and I never did do a further one and in a way that’s a good thing as I may have ended up setting people and two wrongs don’t make a right!!

Anyway,  this time of year is rough for us, it starts in March on my mums birthday,  then it’s mothers day and then in April it’s the anniversary of her death! I can honestly say it doesn’t ever get easier! I miss her everyday and these days just make it harder!  Only 10 more days then we get a break for another year!!

Health wise things are pretty rubbish, I have pain in my stomach for the past few weeks and they think it’s gallstones,  it is so painful I could cry! I am taking so many painkillers but they hardly touch it! I have an appointment on the 27th April so just need to get by till them!! I am really struggling with eating as well and I eating food that is no good for me as it is what goes down easier! ! I just want it sorted and quickly!!
Lung wise things are OK ish, I have some  new equipment to use which has helped a bit but I can feel things getting worse,  I am on maximum meds so just going to have to adapt! I feel like all I do is go to work, struggle through the day then collapse on the sofa! I know from the outside it all looks OK but having breathing problems is 24/7 . I am determined to have a life but it is getting harder to do everything,  got to stay positive though! I know there are people worse of than me!

Life in general is ok, I was offered two new jobs a few months ago and I turned then down as I love where I am and they have been so good adapting things as needed! The money was a lot better at the new place and that would of come in handy but that’s not an option now,  I probably need to work so extra shifts but physically I just can’t manage it!!
Home is fine,  we plod along as we do!
So have I missed anything? ?? Only the fact that I can’t sleep and cant remember when I last slept well, this is adding to my anxiety as when I’m tired I find things difficult to deal with!!
Oh well it’s a new week tomorrow and I need to achieve lots especially as I feel I am scrutinised for what I am doing! I will succeed!! Oh well I’m of to count sheep!!!